I love when innocent things become scary...

High School Girls...

My cheerleaders are very concerned that I am not going to get married... Okay so maybe I talk about being 25 and single too much when I am around them, but anyway recently they have decided that they need to find me a man. So for the past week they have been talking about this hot new teacher that they have, and then they spent the entire last week annoying the heck out of him and telling him that he needed to come to our game Friday night so that he could meet me. I got texts all week asking how tall I was (he's a little on the shorter side) and giving me a play by play of everything that happened when they were talking to him... Poor guy. So he showed up at the game last night, we spent the entire varsity game talking and he was a cool guy. Really nice, really funny, and cute, but I'm pretty use to not being any one's type (thus my singleness) so of course he didn't ask for my number... I'm so use to that by now so it's more of like a minor annoyance then anything else. Anyway one of my girls was sitting behind us and sent me this picture via text message...
Really? Oh to be in high school again and thinking every thing means more than it actually does. Not the most attractive picture of me... Lovely. Mercy!

Happy Birthday Kim!

Tired of all these birthday posts yet? I'm not! I loved expressing my love and appreciation for those in my life. Where do I start with Kim? Kimberly Michelle was born 2 days before I turned one. Despite what pictures may show we really didn't get along until I left for college. I'm sure that was a long 18 years for my parents. Our relationship today is much much better, although sometimes it can get explosive. I really do love my sister. She is my only sister... kind of. (Be prepared to cry your eyes out when I explain that one later). We are complete opposites but we make it work. She is a great Mom to my super cute niece, a very hard worker, and a go getter. She was one of the only girls in the Construction management program, and she kicked some serious trash doing it. There's not much that she thinks is out of her league. I'm so glad that we are able to be friends now and that we can spend so much time together. I don't think that I express my appreciation for her enough because of our past. Things were really rough between us growing up. I was taller (not tall by any means) she was short. I have dark hair, she has light hair. I am athletic, she was more computer driven. I am loud, she's not so much. I did everything wrong, she did everything right. We were different in every way. I think that one of the beginning moments of our friendship started when we performed together during my senior year in high school in our choir concert to an Annie song. She was the only junior who performed with us and I think, I don't know for sure, but I think that that is when we started to become friends. I am so glad that we are friends now and not just sisters. I'm glad that I can call her whenever I need and that she pretends to be interested. I'm glad that she tries to help me find a man (hasn't quite worked out yet). I'm so glad that she lives in Utah now and that I can see her about once a week. Happy Birthday Kim! You so deserve to have an amazing day! I love you!

Remember Yesterday?

Remember how warm and nice it was yesterday? Look what I woke up to. That does not make me very happy.

Instead of Homework...

So I definitely have a 6 page paper due at midnight on the religious symbolism in C.S. Lewis's Narnia, which I haven't even started, and instead all I want to do is play scrabble on my ipod with strangers (I am getting so good), eat Christmas M & M's, drink soda (bad bad bad idea), and watch season 6 of Grey's Anatomy. (Please excuse the quality of the pictures... I took them with my ipod because I'm cool like that!) I have absolutely no desire to write this paper, even though I am really good at writing papers. What kind of teacher assigns a paper that's due that night? I have a life. I was up at 4:30am and got home from work and what not at 6:30pm! I'm a busy gal... But you know what? I'm going to write this paper and I'm going to write it good and that teacher is going to rue the day that she gave me 5 hours to write a serious college level, MLA formatted paper. That's right I said rue.... By the way, it's the end of January and it was such a gorgeous day outside that we actually opened the door at our office because it was too warm. Oh yeah... I took a picture. Loving the weather! (Knock on wood).

Cortney Turns Two... The Party

I was lucky enough to be able to spend the entire day today with Cortney. Kim and Chris had a lot to get done before the party so they asked me to take Cortney for the day, which of course I responded quickly that I would love to. And we had so much fun! We went shopping (spent too much money), we scared some cats (borderline inappropiate), we bought new shoes (check out her new brown boots in the pictures), and we went bowling (because she had never been)! Papa, Nana, Uncle Jake, and Uncle Ryan came down for the party and met up with us to go bowling before the party in West Jordan. It was Cortney's first time bowling and I think her favorite part was telling us whose turn it was. She wasn't super fond of the actual bowling, but she loves being bossy. She is so stinking smart. After the second frame she knew that the order went Ryan, Jake, Aunt Jenny, Nana, and then Papa. If we weren't up and ready to go when it was our turn she would call out of names and tell us it was our turn. It was an interesting experience. Ryan had more fouls than anyone ever during a bowling game ever and it was pretty funny. He was a good sport about it. And yes, Jake is Jean Val Jean. Les Miserables is AMAZING! On our way to the party we had to pick up some plastic spoons and we definitely stood in line to check out for 20 minutes. Talk about ridiculous! To mine and Ryan's amusement we stood behind a chief who was buying TP for his Tee Pee. Or maybe it was TP to TP someone else's Tee Pee. Haha. Kim did an amazing job putting together a party for Cortney. She made this fabulous cake and had everything decorated just like Blue's Clue's! They all played Blue's Clue's in order to find Cortney's present from her parents. There were also more people there then I have had at any of my parties lately... talk about spoiled! Cortney loved all of her presents and of course her super cool cake! Jake and I sucked the helium out of every balloon that had helium in it, which was always entertaining. My Dad then challenged me to burp with helium, and it was quite painful. It also sounded awful! I wouldn't recommend it. After everyone left Kim, Chris, Cortney, and I all went to Red Robin for dinner. Probably the worst Red Robin experience ever, but oh well. It was a good day! Super exhausting but good. I'm so glad that my family was able to come down! Everything is always better when they are around. It was like an escape from everything because they were here! Thanks Kim and Chris for making a gorgeous baby and for inviting me to spend the day with you! Happy Birthday Miss Cortney!

Happy Birthday Cortney!

It's hard to believe that this amazing little girl has only been in my life for 2 years. I can't imagine life without her. She can always make me smile and always makes me feel loved. She has this fantastic way of making me feel worthy and making me forget about all my problems and just live in the moment with her. I am so blessed to have her in my life! I love watching her learn new things everyday and watching her eyes light up when she sees someone or something that she loves. Her hugs, kisses, and laughs will never get old. Pretty sure she's always going to be my favorite!

Happy 2nd brithday Cortney!

Feeling Blue...

So I have been really struggling lately with life. School doesn't seem to be going awesome for me (but does it really for anyone who is so close to being finished?) Work is fine, just time consuming. My personal relationships are falling apart. And maybe this is my fault because I don't have time to maintain them, but I feel like I try really really really hard to make sure that my friends know that I really care about them. But that feeling is just not reciprocated in my opinion. Coaching is still fun, but I forgot how mean girls can be to each other. If I have to have one more "talk" with them about not talking bad about each other or writing inappropriate things online about each other I will seriously go crazy! Oh and then there's the lovely PDA talk that I have with them all the time! They need to just listen. But how do you tell 16 16 year old girls to listen? It's tough. I am thankful for my AWESOME niece (who turns 2 on Saturday!!!) and for all the time I get to spend with her. I especially love that she dresses herself these days! I just need to find something to get me through these tough times. I feel like since right before Christmas I got so down about spending the holidays alone (again) and just about turning 25 (10 days) and I haven't been able to bring myself up at all. I feel like I'm getting deeper and deeper into this depression and I'm smart enough to know that that's not a good thing. Oh and I have to find a date to Copper Hill's Sweetheart's dance in February since it's sponsored by the cheerleaders and I have to go. Where on earth am I going to find I guy to go to a dance with? It would most likely be a first date, and a high school dance at 25 is not awesome for a first date... yeah this process should be interesting. I offered a prize for the cheerleader who finds me the best date... That could be pretty risky. On a brighter note I have ran 30 miles since Monday... so don't suggest exercise as a cure for the depression... I have been trying that and it's not working out so well for me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I have just been here too long.

Bragging Rights

Random dance party... a must during every single game! T is simply too cool to dance... haha!

Wouldn't mess with T. And loving Lauren's bangs!

I love coaching... most of the time that is. And last week, after 2 months of hard work, my girls kicked some serious trash with their performance. I'm glad it's over because tensions were getting pretty high and intense, but a little sad because it was amazing being able to teach them this and then watch them learn and watch it click and then watch them excel. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty dang good! If I were a better coach I would have moved up in the bleachers so that I could've got everyone in the screen, but I was shaking too bad to walk up the bleachers. And also thank you Kim, Chris and Cortney for coming out and supporting me. It means a lot to me that you were there. And also our Varsity Competition team got first again last weekend, so congrats to them! It's so fun being there and watching them do so well! I'm so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome and hard working girls! Seriously coaching is what gets me through the day. There are times when it's really tough and super time consuming and really annoying, but it really is probably one of the most important things in my life! I love love love coaching! Super annoyed right now though because none of my videos will load... BOO! I will keep trying andhopefully post them later!

Friends Question

Maybe I have a problem. Maybe I am incapable of having good friends. For the past month or so I have been so incredibly disappointed in my friends. Not all of them, but just the ones that I thought were most important. Half of my favorite people of 2010 will not be making it onto 2011's list. How can I make better friends? I think I'm a pretty good friend. I try really hard to be there for people and to provide awesome opportunities for them, and I'm not seeing that in return at all. So do I just stop being friends with them? Do I keep giving them more chances to be a good friend? I don't know what to do. I guess most of them make me feel like I'm not good enough, and then I feel like I have to prove to myself that I have some kind of worth, and it's just not a good situation. I don't know what I'm suppose to do....

Tender Mercies

So I'm having problems downloading the video of my cheerleaders awesome performance last week... so just keep an eye out for that. So I've got another "spiritual" post again. Still battling the internal struggle of who I am, and all of that good stuff and so who do I text about it last night? My Dad of course. I knew he would already be asleep, but lately he's one of the only people that I can truly depend on to be there for me and to be honest. I was up pretty late debating on whether or not to go home this weekend to have some time with him. I just really really needed my Dad. Well this morning at 5am he texted me, I was definitely asleep and didn't respond until 8, but his text was amazing for me. He has a construction competition this week in Orlando, FL and he was flying out this morning. Well for whatever reason their flight got delayed 4 hours in Salt Lake. All the other flights to Orlando were on time and the weather was great here, and there was really no reason for his flight to be delayed that long. Except for the fact that I prayed last night that I could see my Dad.... My bad. I was so grateful for the opportunity to get to spend my morning with him and to be able to talk to him and eat with him. Who am I to not thank my Heavenly Father for such an amazing gift? I feel blessed today. I love you Dad! Thanks for hanging out with me this morning. Have a wonderful week in Florida!

Shuffle

So I recently decided to put my CD player in my car on shuffle cause I was going a little crazy listen to the same songs in the same order over and over again. Even though there’s like 150 songs on the CD, I just don’t have time to make a new one right now and I’m not a fan of radio commercials. Anyway… so I decided to use the shuffle button for the first time since I have owned the car. Now it’s been a rough week for me… just a lot happening and a lot running through my mind, and I have just felt like there is a lot required and expected of me lately. Simply feeling overwhelmed. So here I am chilling in my car listening to the music, pressing the “next” button over and over again (this is what I do… I have music ADD… I use that button so much that the paint is actually peeling off already) and this song kept popping up like every other song. Yes, I skipped it like the first 5 times but then I buckled down a listened to it in its entirety (that in itself is a miracle). It was the weirdest thing. But it describes my feelings and the questions I have had in my mind lately. I tend to get a little freaked out by spiritual things so this was a little weird to me. It was also a little comforting. Here’s the lyrics to this song…

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace

When other sources cease to make me whole?

When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice

I draw myself apart searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows?

Where, when I languish?

Where, in my need to know?

Where can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?

Who, who can understand?

He, only One.
He answers privately.

Reaches my reaching.

In my Gethsemane, Savior, and friend.

Gentle, the peace He finds

For my beseeching.

Constant He is, and kind.

Love without end.

I know this is kind of a spiritual post for me, but it’s necessary every now and then right? And then there's this super cute girl who I got to babysit last night who means the world to me! Thank you Kim and Chris for letting me be able to spend so much time with her! I remember when she was born and they were worried I would corrupt her... haha. She makes me so incredibly happy! Sorry the video is sideways, I'm computer retarded and can't fix it. And I know with her devil horns and red eyes she looks a little Satanic in the picture, but still she's still cute and loves to play her guitar.