Sunday, February 27, 2011

Opening Up....

So I don't usually do this kind of thing because I worry way too much about what other people think. But here it is. I know it's rough and no where near amazing but this is me singing and I'm putting it out there because it's something that I usually hide and I'm trying new things lately. And I am singing it tomorrow in front of people and super scared and I need some advice about whether or not to go through with it... Haha. And you won't get any viruses when you download the file I promise... No pressure. Totally up to you if you wanna hear me sing or not...


I cannot believe that Jake is already 15! This kid is absolutely hilarious and insanely talented. When it comes to music he has so many skills! Plus he loves Les Miserables so I think that that qualifies him to be amazing! Jake is really coming into his own style. He's a fan of bow ties and hats. I cannot wait to see what kind of guy he grows up to be. Jake is also a crazy talented artist, of course he is left handed so it's kind of expected. Is there anything this kid can't do? Yeah I don't think so. He has this love for Michael Coats who is a local weather man in Idaho, and he also has a strange obsession with Hitler and Michael Jackson... not going to go there. Anyway I'm so glad I was able to go up to Idaho and spend time with him for his birthday. Happy birthday Jake! I LOVE YOU!!!


So today is a special day. Not only is it Jake's birthday but it's also my Grandpa's birthday! I don't get to see my Grandpa very often, but I think he's a pretty awesome guy! Plus I'm his favorite because I'm graduating from college without a husband. Haha. My Grandpa is a funny guy who can talk to you for hours! About anything! We laugh because he wakes himself up because he snores so loud. He loves Sarah Palin and stays up later than I do talking to his buddies on his radios. What kind of Grandpa stays up later then his 25 year old single granddaughter? A super cool one! I love my Grandpa and I'm so thankful for every minute that I do get to spend with him! Happy birthday Grandpa! I LOVE YOU!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Random Act of Kindness...

While doing laundry and watching Friends (surprised?) and avoiding homework, I got this text randomly from one of my cheerleaders...
How AWESOME is that? WBolde hadn't even texted today! It's definitely things like this that make coaching worth it. Thanks Sami for brightening my night! I really needed that tonight.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


That is the number of miles I am planning on running... Allie, who I work with, and I have decided that we need to run a half marathon. The one we have in mind we thought it was in May but now we found out it isn't until August. But it is definitely going to happen. And since neither of us are "runners" we have decided that we need to start training now. Yes, I know normal people only take 12 weeks to train but we take 24. That's how cool we are. I really want to be able to finish it under 2 hours (heavy groan and aching muscles just thinking about it). So that's my goal and since it's a downhill race I think I have a good chance of that happening. A good chance of that and some wicked shin splints the next day. So I started training on Monday and come to find out I run wrong so I am having to train my body to run the correct way, which is not on my heel. So my body is pretty sore from that. No bueno. Also midterms just ended (thank goodness) and so far these are my grades. Considering my life, I'm pretty happy with them. And considering that most of them are English classes I'm pretty happy with that. I'm exhausted with life, but happy with the grades. Oh but then don't worry I quickly became depressed when I read about Johnny Depp's salary in a magazine... Really? Why can't that be my life? If I could make in one year what he makes in one hour I think I would be a very happy woman... okay maybe not very happy, but satisfied at least while I'm single. but if I made what he makes in a day in a year... yeah I'd be good with that for sure. Maybe I could write him a letter and explain my situation and he would be sympathetic to my plight. Right? Hey, a girl can dream. So yesterday was also my final JV basketball game... This means I made it through my first game year as a coach! And it was completely amazing! Stressful at times yes, but so awesome! Sorry the picture is blurry... the second someone else touches my camera it become possessed. Not even kidding. It's haunted I'm pretty sure. Anyway coaching has been amazing. I went into it thinking I would love it, but I have come out of it with that, and amazing friends (yes, they are in high school... DON'T JUDGE ME), and so much new knowledge! It has been amazing and has lifted my self esteem! I am really looking forward to next year. Now I have to go clean my mess of a room... it's gotten pretty bad! My life is beyond exciting! Whoop whoop. (note the sarcasm please)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I'm kind of an emotional wreck...

Two years ago for Christmas, an ex-boyfriend (who really screwed me over) was trying to get back together with me and bought me the entire series of the show Friends. I watch it all the time! No, I did not get back together with him because he is a horrible awful person who I could never ever trust again, but I kept the gift indeed and I don't feel guilty about it at all. Anyway I cannot get enough of that show. I definitely need a Joey and a Phoebe in my life! Okay really really I need them all... I laugh so hard at some of the things that happen on that show even if I have seen it a thousand times (speaking of laughing if you haven't watched the latest Office with the premiere of Threat Level Midnight, get on that! One of the best Office episodes ever!) But no matter how many times I watch the final episode though I cannot stop myself from crying. Why do I cry at things like this? It has absolutely nothing to do with me... it's not real life. Then again I bawled like a baby at the end of Toy Story 3... actually bawled like a baby doesn't even begin to describe that experience. I couldn't even talk I was such a mess. Lately though I have noticed that I am having more lows then highs. There are high though. Like last night we traveled to Herriman High School for our basketball games and the game went into overtime and was so intense! We won by 2 points, but honestly you would've thought I was a high school kid from the way that I was jumping up and down and screaming. Coaching keeps me young. But also I have felt so stuck lately. The first verse from the Friends theme song describes my feelings:

So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

By the way DOA means dead on arrival, I had to look it up. I know I'm handicap a little. But seriously every single word of that verse describes how I feel. I am 25 single, with no prospects. I should be getting paid much more then I am, but I'm too big of a wimp to ask about it because I'm afraid to ruin a good thing and end up jobless. Oh, this is also my problem with boys... I'm afraid to talk to the one that I'm hung up on because I don't want to mess up the friendship that we have. And while we're on that I don't think that is can even be called friendship when you only get a random text once a week and it ends in the middle of a serious conversation. Yes, I'm a little bitter because I think that I deserve better. I am a good person who tries to do the right things, but I just can't catch a break. I'm so heartbroken, so overwhelmed, and so sad that I just can't get on top of everything. No one takes me seriously, and maybe that's my fault. I'm not so good at showing my weak emotions, mostly I just make fun of myself and play it off, but I'm hurting. So badly and so intense that it scares me. I don't think I am the best person in the world and I know that I have so many spiritual, emotional, and physical flaws, but I think that I deserve better then this. I give and give and give and I feel like I almost get nothing in return. But I can't get over it. No matter what I do or how hard I try I can't change anything. I don't know how to explain this to the people closest to me, you know the people who might actually help me out and be there for me, and that's so hard. It's not fair to the people who try so hard to make me happy to let them know that their efforts are useless. I'm losing this battle and it really sucks. I will not write the thoughts I have or my actions because they are not appropriate I don't think, but they are constantly bombarding my mind. It's all I can think about and it's shutting me down.

Anyway highlights from me week include going to WINCO with Allie. I kind of had a little incident while we were there. You see Allie (who did a great thing by insisting that I go with her to avoid making a bad decision) hadn't gone shopping in a long time. So she had a pretty full cart. Well she remembered right before checkout that she needed frozen hamburger (I didn't even know that you could buy hamburger frozen. I thought you just took it home a froze it yourself). Anyway so we made our way to the back of the store to the meat and she began rearranging her cart to fit the meat it. Well I have this thing where I like to sing a lot of the words that I say and I like to sing about everything. I also like to change the songs on the radio or add words to existing songs. This tends to keep me entertained at work a lot. Anyway so while she was fixing her cart I sang out quite loudly, "MAKE ROOM!" It was at this moment that we were almost completely blocking the aisle with our two carts and I looked up and noticed that like 2 feet in front of us was a family of 3 pretty obese people. They were giving me the look of death! Because they totally thought that I was talking about them, which of course I was not it was just bad timing and just my luck. But when I saw them I quickly added "For the meat." Of course this was much softer because I was stunned at what had just happened. So the family passed us and I moved my cart up and out of the way so that I could take in the experience I just had, and I looked over at Allie who totally realized what had happened as well and we just burst out laughing. I am laughing right now just thinking about it. It's okay to laugh because it was a super embarrassing mistake. Maybe you had to be there. I also had another word vomit experience earlier that day, but it's way too embarrassing to post. Allie and I also went to Target where I scored a one piece swimsuit that was regularly $34.99 for $8.97. It's missing that strap that goes around the neck, but lucky for me I have one from another swimsuit that I can use. I couldn't pass that up! I LOVE clearance shopping!

Sunday, February 13, 2011


I am so glad that this week is over! It got kind of old taking pictures all the time! I slept so good last night. And this is probably because I was so sick, but I love waking up after 9! So awesome! So this morning I took 2 midterms... One I got a 70% on (and I am 100% okay with that) and the other was written completely so I don't know yet what my score is. My little brother called me from inside a hope chest that my Dad made me... that was pretty funny! So then I went from this... to this... Still pretty pale and not 100%, but better then the sweat wearing nasty that I was all morning. Please don't judge how obese and pale and gross I look in the next pictures... remember I have been sick. So then I headed off to Copper Hills to chaperon the Sweethearts dance. When I was in high school I went to dances but I never really danced. Well tonight I danced like I should have. I don't think that as chaperon's we were suppose to dance but I was in the middle front of the dance floor just dancing up a storm! It was a blast. Apparently I make crazy faces when I dance, but that's okay. It was so much fun to be able to spend so much time with my girls in a situation outside of cheer. I honestly will probably be sore tomorrow. I definitely need to go dancing sometime soon! Kids these days pretty much just jump up and down to every song. So I took off my shoes pretty early in the night because my heels were just too high to dance in. And this is what happened. It hurts so bad! It's the biggest blister I have ever had in my life! When I got home my roommate helped me wrap it up, so that was so nice of her. Anyway it's been a fun week, but I'm so glad I don't have to carry a camera around with me everywhere!

Friday, February 11, 2011


I actually got up on time this morning! You know like I use to do before I started documenting my life for a week..... Anyway so after a nice long shower I realized that I needed to iron my jeans. You know on the new cheaper by the dozen where they talk about their older sisters boyfriend and how weird he is because he irons his jeans? Yep, that's me! Okay really so I only iron like once a month, but still. Ironing jeans is pretty weird. Practice was okay today. We did a little bit of stunting and then worked on decorations for the dance tomorrow.(Remember how I asked 7 guys to go with me and got rejected by every single one of them... so depressed). Fridays are nice at work because we only work until noon and it's a casual day! Straight from work I headed over to Kim's house to pick up the niece. On the way there this was the lowest price that I found for gas. Dang it! Darn Egypt. get your stuff together so I don't have to pay so much for gas! I also got really excited because I actually turned the air on in my car because it was too warm! In February! In Utah! That was pretty awesome! Please excuse the water bottle and plastic bags on the floor of my car... I've been a little lazy lately. So once I had picked up Cortney we went to the mall and did some shopping. The first store we went to was Bath and Body Works and she would not let me carry the bag at all. She walked around the mall for 2 hours with that bag! And it really was the perfect size for her. The next stop was the carousel in the food court. She absolutely loved it! Maybe her favorite part was looking at herself in the mirror... but she did enjoy herself! Next stop was Forever 21 where I left the store with nothing but Cortney left with a new necklace and this black hat. She saw it and put it on and would not take it off. Thank goodness it was on clearance. She definitely wore it for the rest of the day. People at the mall were dying over her. Every single person we saw stop and said something about how cute she looked... and yes, I pretended she was my kid most of the time. Sorry Kim... After we left Forever she saw, or rather she heard the little train that drives you around the mall... well drives kids around the mall and she really wanted to ride on it and I just can't say no to the little girl. It was pretty nerdy but pretty fun. She waved and said hi to everyone who we passed. She only got like 2 or 3 responses which was lame but I don't think she really cared. After we left the mall we went to Copper Hills for a couple of basketball games. Aunt Jenny filled her up on candy and capri suns. Oh and thank goodness for IPod's and the Internet! She totally stayed entertained watching The Wiggles for quite some time. It's amazing how tech savvy she is and she's only 2! I totally trust her with my IPod. We killed the other team... and by killed I mean slaughtered... But I'm just really glad that I was able to spend so much time with Cortney today. Then things got crazy when it came time to start decorating for the dance. Of course a random dance party... Using T's hair as a mustache... and doing some modeling. Don't you love how cheerleaders put up decorations? Awesome! Pretty sure I'm the most immature cheerleading coach ever...So now I'm home and sleeping with the bowl again. I feel so sick! Definitely threw up everything as soon as I got home. This is not a good thing. The only good thing about being sick and throwing up is that you ate free calories... I guess there is a plus side to every bad thing... But really I'm tired of feeling so nasty all the time!

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Not gonna lie... This is getting kind of old. Anyway I slept in again, but once again I had an awful nights sleep, and I cannot workout when I don't sleep. It may have had something to due with the fact that I woke up at 3am and cried for about an hour (I knew that was coming and there's so much as to why it happened). So then I got up and got ready for work... wearing black today to symbolize mourning, and braids in my hair because I was too lazy to do anything else. I was greeted by frost on my window on my car and didn't have the energy to do a good scrapping job... yes I wear black stretchy gloves when it's cold outside. I have about 23 pairs. Work was busy but not as crazy and uptight as it was yesterday, thank goodness. Allie and I have a treat box that we use to go the the 7-11 at the corner and buy treats. We fill it from the spare change that falls out of the doctor's money bags or patients pockets. Today I choose to buy Cheetos. And they were delicious and definitely worth other people's money. While at the 7-11 at the counter I noticed these snap on bracelets that were popular back when I was like 10. Anyway they only had two options. One says I love Justin, and the other I love God. So that's what it's come to huh? We must choose between God and Justin Bieber? Haha! This is me being gangster... my current personality isn't getting me anywhere so I'm trying out new ones. I think I'm a pretty good thug. So during most days at lunch Allie and I will lock the front door and head to back and lay on the rollers. These things are amazing! I don't know what I'm going to do when I finally get my dream job and have to leave. I will miss the rollers. A few months ago on one of our random field trips during lunch to Hancock Fabric I bought these super cool lint brushes that you and use over and over and you don't have to peel off any paper... They are amazing and I love them. My black scrubs always seem so linty, so I keep one of them at work all the time. Allie laughs but I think it's awesome! I attempted to stage a play date tonight, but I was rejected. Surprise surprise! I don't think I do anything without expecting to be rejected these days. That's kind of sad I think. Oh well. So because I was depressed I came home and made some chocolate chip cookie dough and ate it in my room in my black scrubs. This is not usual for me... it's a bad sign. I don't even like chocolate very much. Then I settled down and did some more homework. It never ends! What is getting me through this day is knowing that tomorrow I get to spend a significant amount of time with the one person you always makes me smile and never hurts me... My niece!