I watch it all the time! No, I did not get back together with him because he is a horrible awful person who I could never ever trust again, but I kept the gift indeed and I don't feel guilty about it at all. Anyway I cannot get enough of that show. I definitely need a Joey and a Phoebe in my life! Okay really really I need them all... I laugh so hard at some of the things that happen on that show even if I have seen it a thousand times (speaking of laughing if you haven't watched the latest Office with the premiere of Threat Level Midnight, get on that! One of the best Office episodes ever!) But no matter how many times I watch the final episode though I cannot stop myself from crying. Why do I cry at things like this? It has absolutely nothing to do with me... it's not real life. Then again I bawled like a baby at the end of Toy Story 3... actually bawled like a baby doesn't even begin to describe that experience. I couldn't even talk I was such a mess. Lately though I have noticed that I am having more lows then highs. There are high though. Like last night we traveled to Herriman High School for our basketball games and the game went into overtime and was so intense! We won by 2 points, but honestly you would've thought I was a high school kid from the way that I was jumping up and down and screaming. Coaching keeps me young. But also I have felt so stuck lately. The first verse from the Friends theme song describes my feelings: So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
By the way DOA means dead on arrival, I had to look it up. I know I'm handicap a little. But seriously every single word of that verse describes how I feel. I am 25 single, with no prospects. I should be getting paid much more then I am, but I'm too big of a wimp to ask about it because I'm afraid to ruin a good thing and end up jobless. Oh, this is also my problem with boys... I'm afraid to talk to the one that I'm hung up on because I don't want to mess up the friendship that we have. And while we're on that I don't think that is can even be called friendship when you only get a random text once a week and it ends in the middle of a serious conversation. Yes, I'm a little bitter because I think that I deserve better. I am a good person who tries to do the right things, but I just can't catch a break. I'm so heartbroken, so overwhelmed, and so sad that I just can't get on top of everything. No one takes me seriously, and maybe that's my fault. I'm not so good at showing my weak emotions, mostly I just make fun of myself and play it off, but I'm hurting. So badly and so intense that it scares me. I don't think I am the best person in the world and I know that I have so many spiritual, emotional, and physical flaws, but I think that I deserve better then this. I give and give and give and I feel like I almost get nothing in return. But I can't get over it. No matter what I do or how hard I try I can't change anything. I don't know how to explain this to the people closest to me, you know the people who might actually help me out and be there for me, and that's so hard. It's not fair to the people who try so hard to make me happy to let them know that their efforts are useless. I'm losing this battle and it really sucks. I will not write the thoughts I have or my actions because they are not appropriate I don't think, but they are constantly bombarding my mind. It's all I can think about and it's shutting me down.
Anyway highlights from me week include going to WINCO with Allie. I kind of had a little incident while we were there. You see Allie (who did a great thing by insisting that I go with her to avoid making a bad decision) hadn't gone shopping in a long time. So she had a pretty full cart. Well she remembered right before checkout that she needed frozen hamburger (I didn't even know that you could buy hamburger frozen. I thought you just took it home a froze it yourself). Anyway so we made our way to the back of the store to the meat and she began rearranging her cart to fit the meat it. Well I have this thing where I like to sing a lot of the words that I say and I like to sing about everything. I also like to change the songs on the radio or add words to existing songs. This tends to keep me entertained at work a lot. Anyway so while she was fixing her cart I sang out quite loudly, "MAKE ROOM!" It was at this moment that we were almost completely blocking the aisle with our two carts and I looked up and noticed that like 2 feet in front of us was a family of 3 pretty obese people. They were giving me the look of death! Because they totally thought that I was talking about them, which of course I was not it was just bad timing and just my luck. But when I saw them I quickly added "For the meat." Of course this was much softer because I was stunned at what had just happened. So the family passed us and I moved my cart up and out of the way so that I could take in the experience I just had, and I looked over at Allie who totally realized what had happened as well and we just burst out laughing. I am laughing right now just thinking about it. It's okay to laugh because it was a super embarrassing mistake. Maybe you had to be there. I also had another word vomit experience earlier that day, but it's way too embarrassing to post. Allie and I also went to Target where I scored a one piece swimsuit that was regularly $34.99 for $8.97.
It's missing that strap that goes around the neck, but lucky for me I have one from another swimsuit that I can use. I couldn't pass that up! I LOVE clearance shopping!
It's missing that strap that goes around the neck, but lucky for me I have one from another swimsuit that I can use. I couldn't pass that up! I LOVE clearance shopping!
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