Finding Humor and Losing Strength...

Chances are that Jason is okay, I know that. They checked all the prisons and hospitals and they didn't find him there. I guess I should be happy about that. But it still isn't getting any easier. The more time that goes by and he is still missing the bigger the chances are that something has happened to him. You never realize how much you love your family until there's a chance that you might not all be together anymore. It's true that Jason hasn't been at home for a while, but that doesn't mean I love him any less than any of my other siblings. I miss him. I wish I would've talked longer to him on the phone on Sunday when he called me. I wish I would've told him that I loved him. My youngest brother Ryan posted this blog yesterday and it brought me to tears. To know that all my family is struggling as much as I am makes me even more sad. No one should ever have to worry about their son or brother like this. It's hard to express exactly what I'm feeling, but I know that I hate it. Ryan is carrying around a set of Jason's dog tags in his pocket, Jake is listening to Les Miserables "Bring Him Home" over and over and has deemed it his favorite song. Speaking of which I am supposed to be attending Les Miserables later this week... what are the odds that I cry my way through that song? Kim is keeping in contact with people Jason knows in the army while trying to keep it together so Cortney doesn't realize anything is wrong. Mom is constantly communicating with Jason's Master Sargent and trying to comfort the rest of her family while trying to finish packing for the move this weekend. Dad is trying really hard to not show emotion, but I know he's worried. He's our rock though and if he crumbles then the rests of us will only fall deeper. This morning my family was watching Good Morning America because that's what they do and it said that today is National Missing Child Day.... go figure. We all kind of laughed a little, but I think that we were mostly just hiding our sorrows by relieving some type of emotion. Jason we love you and want you to be okay and safe. Please call us or text us or e-mail us and let us know that you are alright. WE LOVE YOU!