No New is Good News?

I have heard this saying many times before, but I don't think that I have ever truly experienced a situation in which it applied. Now I have that situation. And I don't think that saying is valid. No news is more stress, it's more worry, it's more heart breaking and it's way harder to let go or even to begin healing. I'm not saying that Jason is dead, and I pray that he isn't, but not knowing where he is or what's going on with him or if he's safe, or has food, or money, or if he's in trouble, is way worse than knowing what the situation actually is. I feel guilty sometimes because as much as I have cried over this the past 3 days, I have also laughed. I have spent time with my family and my friends and there have been moments where I have enjoyed myself and forgotten that situation. Does this make me a bad person? Does this mean that I don't care? Because I do. I really love my brother and I want him to come home, but I also find the need to distract myself very important. I feel guilty for not leading the way in finding him, but the Army told us they need their time to do their thing. What more can I do? I truly don't know. I pray for a miracle, I pray for his safety, I pray for peace, and I pray for my parents. I was not the perfect child growing up and I think that Jason and I have a connection with this because we gave them a run for their money for sure. I have seen the guilt that parents feel when their child strays and goes away for a while. I have awesome parents. I have the best parents and they should never feel like they have done anything wrong because they have done everything right. I am so thankful for all of the support my friends and family have given to me. Even people that I haven't talked to in years have reached out and made this so much easier. Even people I don't know have called and offered their love and their support. I find it extremely interesting that no matter what race, gender, or religion someone is, everyone understands prayer. The first thing so many people have said to me was that they would pray for me, my brother, and my family. That is so comforting and so astounding to me. I even had one of my cheerleaders this morning say that she would pray for me if she knew how to pray, instantly another one of my girls took a minute and taught her how to pray so that she could pray for my brother. I am truly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. I'm starting to fall apart today more than any other day, but I still have faith, I just don't feel as strong. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. My family is forever grateful to you all.