Dear Jason...

Dear Jason,

Maybe we haven't been as close as we should have been lately, and maybe that's partly my fault. I probably could've been better, and talked longer when we were on the phon

e. I could've texted more, or sent you fun packages. It's hard when there's so much distance between two people to maintain such a strong relationship... especially when one of them is owned by the military. I feel like we have always had our secret rebellion bond

. It's nothing like you and Kim bonding over your fear of me growing up, but something different. I felt like you thought you could always come to me when you wanted to sneak out and see a PG-13 rated movie (sorry Mom and Dad... it happened. I'm human and weak) or when you wanted to watch family guy. I let you hide Mission Impossible 3 in the trunk of my car, which I still have by the way. I remember when they transfered you to a different mission and you got to call me so I could come see you at the airport, that made me feel so awesome that of all people you would want to see at 5am it would be me. Okay so maybe I was the only one in Salt Lake City, but still. I remember when you came home in December and I told everyone in that airport what was up with my super cool sign that I made for you. You returned

the favor by giving me one of your famous back slap hugs... dude those things kind of hurt.

I remember when at Jake's Court of Honor you surprised him with a video from base since you couldn't make it, and then Dad asked me to give the closing prayer and I was crying so hard from your message that I'm sure no one understood. I remember you singing in Alaska to the punk rock girl song and messing up the words! That was the best. I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to that song lately because of the happy memories it gave me. Or remember how in the cabin you put me on your shoulders and I punched the ceiling? Good t

imes, even if it was at my expense. Or one of my favorites... when you were Joe the Plummer for Halloween! Jason, you are awesome! You have overcame so much adversity

and whenever people told you that you couldn't do something you always fought back and did it better than anyone else. You have never been the kind of person to make people worry or that would just disappear. I am worried about you and just want you to come home. I am doing absolutely everything in my power to make sure that this happens! So is everyone else. You have hundreds of people praying for you and your name is on countless temple prayer rolls. Yo

u are so loved and so missed. I do thank you for the 10 pounds I have lost from the stress of dealing with your disappearance, but I would gladly pack on 100 pounds if it meant yo

u get to come home safe... and I coach cheerleading so that would just not be right plus I'm weak and a little vain I guess. I miss you and I love you and I don't know where you are. But I do know I will continue to pray for you, fast for you, search for you, and do

anything I can for you to bring you home. I hope you know that there is nothing

that I wouldn't do for you! Nothing. You complete our family and without you we are not nearly as strong as we have potential to be. Where are you Jason? Are you safe? Are you hurting? Are you hungry? Are you in trouble? Please call me, because you know that I could take down anyone that is hurting you. Be honest.... you know it's true. I love you Jason. I want, and more importantly, I need you in my life.

Love, Your Big Sister