Something Fishy....

I do not like fish. I will eat halibut and the fake fish from fast food places most of the time, but salmon and trout (just the name trout sounds awful... makes me throw up in my mouth a little) just don't cut it for me. That is unfortunate because my parents own land in Alaska and every year my Dad goes up and brings back 600lbs (that may be a stretch... it's either 600 or 300) of salmon. At least my parents know how to keep me away from their dinners... I do like to take pictures of me holding them because I feel like it makes me look super cool and the guys really dig it. Anyway, I do not like fish or most things fishy. And right now there is something fishy going on with my brother. I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but I feel now more than ever that there is something really really wrong and strange going on. All of the sudden I'm not convinced that he is dead or hurt, there's just something not right. I'm not quite sure how to seek comfort from such a feeling. I pray daily that he will be safely returned and I know that I have been comforted from that. But this uneasy, sick, worried feeling is so much more then just being sad. I have a lot going on in my life right now. This probably isn't the ideal time to start a relationship, but that happened. It seems to be accelerated because of everything I have going on. You really get to learn a lot about someone when something so personal is happening in your life which is awesome to see the person deal with something so big, but at the same time I feel like I am not 100% there and that isn't fair to him. He deserves better and I want to give him better, but I am distracted. That makes me sad because I don't want to lose this. I don't want to mess it up. This probably isn't the ideal time to be me. I could go through everything separately but that would be incredibly boring and long and depressing and I don't feel like I want to be depressing today. Today will be a good day. Today we will learn something about Jason... of this I am sure.